CHARGE TO COUPLE

Sample 1

Remember, then, that your decision this day is your act of faith in one another. Your faith must not be a vain hope in what the other will do or will not do, might become or not become. Yours must be that deeper faith that you each will be acceptable in the other's eyes despite the changes of the years and the assaults of the world. Such faith requires that you honour yourself as well as attend to the needs of the other. Such faith requires that you learn to listen before you speak. Such faith requires that you each be open to that divine spark within you, and be willing to be guided by the grace of its light. Your pledge to one another is a devotion in freedom, and not a license to control. Your covenant will endure the trials of time only as you keep to that sacred integrity. Finally, do not forget that a generous sense of humour and mirth is a great redeemer in times of trial and strain. It may keep you whole when all else seems lost.

Sample 2

I wish you all happiness, but my wishes cannot give it, nor can it come from outward circumstances. It can only come from yourselves, from the spirit within you.

You cannot choose what changes and chances may befall you in the coming years, but you can choose the spirit with which you will meet them. Let it be in the spirit of the noble vows in which you will plight your troth, each to the other. If you take these vows not as mere form, but as a bond of honour which you will keep with unswerving loyalty, then whatever may come, you will have inward happiness, which no pleasures of themselves can give, no sorrows take away. Then the whole of life which awaits you will be an abiding security to yourselves, and a welcome example to others.

Today your separate lives, with your own memories, hopes, temptations and trials, are merged into one. Bring into this new life, each for the sake of the other, the best you can be. Then the love you bear each other will be ever strengthened and enriched.

Sample 3

Your task is to talk, to listen and to grow;

To talk, because one must share of oneself to communicate with the other;

To listen because what the other has to say matters deeply;

To grow in dignity, each following along the paths that are his or her own to

follow,

becoming all that each is capable of becoming,

while giving the other supporting love.

To grow in love; this is the crown of marriage,

To grow in the love of life, the love of growth, and the love of becoming;

The love which gives courage,

Which does not cling, but bestows freedom,

Which does not hold back, but makes bold for growth,

Which stands fast in disappointment and sorrow,

Which endures through frustration and pettiness,

Which seeks to keep the relationship open;

And which is confirmed by answering love.

You have set yourselves on this road,

You have chosen to walk it together;

Thus you will make a marriage.

Sample 4

Ultimately, there comes a time when a decision must be made. Ultimately, two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage is itself something which has to be created. To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling.