Moving from winter to spring - my transformation

- By Nancy Miller
Before leaving the U.S. and coming to Canada I was in a very broken, dark place. Writing has helped me to sift through all the darkness and speak my truth. Here is my story:
 
                                                                                     MY PAST
I was in a bad place by January of this year. It was both literally and metaphorically my winter season. I was stuck in a life that had lost all meaning and purpose, and I couldn’t find my path forward. But, as fate would have it, Nick and I were offered a cottage to stay in from Jan-March, in NotL, Canada. This cottage became my sanctuary, a place I could be removed from the stress, anxiety and pain I was feeling every day of my life in Rochester, NY. I discovered that I was not running away from my past or the horrible things happening in my country, but instead I was running towards discovering my true identity and purpose. With meditation and a lot of soul searching, I began rewriting my story and charting a path to healing. One of the first decisions I made was to join the Unitarian Congregation of Niagara and this is where my transformation began.
 
Nick and I started to attend services at the UCN, and in the first week the topic we were asked to think about was Transformation. Reverend Pat put forth a list of questions and asked that you simply pick one question that speaks to you the most and let it lead you where you need to go. It was as if she handed me a guide to help me make the changes that would direct me to a new, happier, healthier and purposeful life. So here are the questions that I thought about and meditated on, that led me to my writing.
          Are you really longing to be transformed or could it be that your heart just wants to be understood?
          Are you sure your transformation lies in following the light? Or might Life instead be calling you to befriend the dark? Is your challenge imagining what is possible or being honest about the past?
 
As I reflected on these questions, I started to realize that I can’t run away from or pretend the past didn’t happen. After all, it is what made me the person I am now; I do not have to let it define me. By befriending the dark, my past became the basis for my present and future and what I can become, my transformations.
 
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” —Carl Jung. I needed to do the hard work.
 
I have met the struggles that winter held for me and have learned to let go of what no longer serves me.
 
                                                                MY PRESENT AND FUTURE
 
“The spring equinox refers to the moment when day and night are nearly equal in length, marking the beginning of spring.” I am a Libra, which means I am always looking to have things in balance. So for me, the spring equinox brings that much needed balance into my life. Now it’s time to move on to spring and to the beautiful growth and transformation it brings. I can now live in the present, and as nature awakens, so shall my need for renewal and fresh beginning. I am energized and inspired to set new intentions and trust that the natural world and the people I have surrounded myself with will give me guidance and comfort.
 
 
I am hoping that all of you here at the UCN will help me to do the work that is needed of me to discover and strengthen my spirituality, which has been sorely missing in my life, so that the transformations I am yearning for can help shape the next chapter of my life.